People and Spam

Spam.

We all hate it.

We despise it with a passion.

We've had too much of it.

Sometimes, it can almost make you sick.


No, I'm not talking about that product that you bought way too much of for Y2K, and ended up eating for the next three years. I'm talking about the electronic kind of spam. (But on a side note, seriously, who eats a spamburger?!)

I don't know how they work, but spammers have got to be the most prolific computer users in history. And for some reason, they seem to by-and-large claim West Africa as their home. I have no idea why they do, but that is typically the case.

I recently received two spam messages that caught my eye on the way to the 'delete forever' button. Both took an angle that was aimed at Christian recipients.

Excerpts from email number one:

From Mrs. Juliana Kwame.
Address: 112 cocody,
Abidjan Cote d' Ivoire West Africa.
Urgent help.

Please use this money for the Churches and Less Privileged in the world.Greetings to you and your family in the name of God,in my search for a reliable and God fearing person and having gotten your contact through prayers and pains taking efforts via searching i made on the internet on my bed side.

Recently,my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next Eight months due to cancer problem. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a church/Islamics [I think they slipped up there] or a God fearing person that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein.I want a church/God fearing person that will use this fund for orphanages, widows, propagating the word of God and to endeavor that the house of God is maintained.

The Bible made us to understand that "Blessed is the hand that giveth". I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my late husband's relatives are not Christians and I don't want my late husband's efforts to be used by unbelievers.

I don't want a situation where this money will beused in an ungodly way. This is why I am taking this decision.I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that "the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace".

I want you and the church to always pray for me because the lord is my shephard. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian.Whoever that Wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and Truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life and pray to God to forgive me my sins.
Pls send this informations of yours,so that i will present you to the Bank as my partner whom i will want the Bank to transfer this money into your account in your country for family use.

Hoping to receive your reply.
Remain blessed in the Lord.

Your's Sister In Christ,
Mrs. Juliana Kwame

This spammer was obviously knowledgeable of Christian vocabulary, and thought that could appeal to some unsuspecting, gullible believer.

Excerpts from email number two:

Urgent Attention:
Hello Dear,
My name is Sgt Russell LEE Billington am an American soldier,presently serving in the Supply,Logistics and Relief Unit of the first Armoured Div of the US Army in Iraq.
As you maybe aware,we are constantly being attacked by insurgents and sucide Bombers. During one of the heavy attacks againts our unit, my colleague Sgt Amanda and I managed to secure some fund which was a part of UNITED NATIONS relief package for displaced refugees.

The total amount is US$20 Million dollars in cash, mostly 100 dollar bills.we are in need of a realible and God fearing civilian of non American origin in whose custody we can entrust this funds pending our disengagement from the front line.

Your contact came handy after Sgt Amanda and I agreed to pray and fast for 3 days in order that we may be lead to find the right individual to deal with in this matter.On browsing through the web the next day Sgt Amanda ran into your profile on the web,and she insisted that she believed that discovering your mail contact was a divine occurance after which we both agreed to contact you in the hope that you will agree to be our trustee for this fund.

Now we look forward to your prompt response to this,indicating your willingness or otherwise to work with us to secure this fund for the good of the three of us.
In responding to this mail kindly furnish us with your personal details and direct contact details.So that we can go further to explain to you how we intend to get the funds to you and work out the basis of trust and understanding as well as how to appropriate shares to each parties.
Please do not respond to this if you cannot be totally trusted.Looking forward to read from you soon.
Respond only on the email below for privacy policy.

Best regards
Sgt.Lee Billington
at bahgdad(Iraq)

This one really bothers me - exploiting our troops for spamming.

I can't help but notice how every spam email I've seen had horrible spelling and/or grammar, especially the "Nigerian" messages (which must mean that English is not the mother tongue for most of the spammers, especially given the syntax of their grammar. Have you ever noticed how people who didn't speak English as a first language tend to switch words around, i.e. ending an interrogative sentence with 'yes' or 'no'?).

The abuse of the troops or Christianity like this rubs me the wrong way. The gall of these people...